Favorite Traks One-Liners

[cmdrajd]

I read Wil Wheaton's blog on a regular basis, and a few days ago he posted the following:

http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbacku ... remug.html

For those of you who don't feel like reading it, the basic idea is that he was able to put together a coffee mug design on Cafe Press in a matter of minutes. It got me thinking about an idea we bounced around a few years ago. Namely, Star Traks t-shirts. I was focused on trying to come up with a cool logo, but, due to copyright issues, we realized we couldn't do anything using actual Trek designs. I think I may have been on the wrong...er...track.

I have a shirt that says "Joss Whedon is My Master Now." It's a line from a PvP comic strip, but nowhere on the shirt is PvP mentioned. It's just the line from the strip. I've had to explain it and where it came from a few times, and just maybe it got the people who asked me about it to go check out PvP.

"Are you going to be getting to a point soon, Alan?"

I'm glad you asked. Here's what I'm thinking: Cafe Press allows you to upload any number of designs and set up a little store. It doesn't matter is people actually buy anything or not. I think it'd be cool to put a Traks store out there with t-shirts with some of our favorite one-liners on them.

The question is what lines to use. I don't think I really write in one liners that are funny all on their own. The only one I can think of off hand, "I shall subdue you with my solid shaft of meat!", is not really something that I'd want to wear around on a t-shirt. So I'm opening the floor for suggestions. What are your favorite lines from Star Traks? Any series. Even your own. Go forth and bring back the funny!

Alan

Er...also...I still think some kind of logo would be cool. Something very basic. Star Traks in a Trek-like font with the Nexus URL in small text underneath perhaps. I don't think you can do two sided t-shirts, but I could see a coffee mug like Wil Wheaton put together with the logo on one side and the one-liner on the other.

[b-guy]

Interesting idea. As for one liners, I'm afraid not much is coming to my mind immediately. I haven't read much Traks lately, I'm afraid.

Some of mine that I'm fond of include:

Dr. Wowryk: Now get out there and flail that man!
President Dillon: I'm sure YOU will work very hard to make MY dream a reality. (Great for office workers!)
Paraphrase of Dr. Wowryk: I can't be evil, I'm blond!
Stafford: I LIKE GIRLS! (Courtesy of Alan Decker)


As for the logo issue, yeah. Most of the trekkie stuff would have copyright issues. However, I should point out that the Anomaly, Waystation and the Wayward may be original enough to escape. Waystation has Federation resemblances in the same way Will's jellyfish resemble the space jellyfish in Encouter at Farpoint.

[cmdrajd]

You reminded me of one line: You're damn right I'm in command. That's why you're going to do it.

May not work on a shirt, though.

There's also, "Set phasers to KILL, Mister Coffee Table!" Ehhh...not as funny out of context.

[b-guy]

You reminded me of one line: You're damn right I'm in command. That's why you're going to do it.

Where'd that one come from?

[cmdrajd]

It's either in Traks VI or one of the short stories leading up to it. Possibly Hostage Crisis. I'd have to go look.

[borgcrazy]

One I still reference with friends:
Doctor (27 of 27): Shush. Bad zombie.
And that's about all I can think of that work out of context...

[Captain B]

There's always Dr. Browning's "Free unnecessary enemas for everybody!" But probably not something I'd want written on a shirt either

Baxter says something along the lines of "I don't think you're partly to blame. I think you're totally to blame!"

Um...."Do I smell monkey sh**?"

None of these are quite shirt worthy.

We might have to come up with slogans rather than one-liners, because even the great one-liners are a little obscure.

Something like:
"Because he's Bain."
or
"When they can't find anyone competent, they send the Explorer."

[borgcrazy]

"When failure isn't an option...
...DON'T send these guys!"

[cmdrajd]

Too bad Mythbusters already took "Failure is ALWAYS an option." That would have been perfect.

[borgcrazy]

"If you want it done right, send a different crew."
"For fast, reliable and professional Starfleet help - look somewhere else."
Well, substitute Starfleet help with Borg assimilation for Borgspace and Starfleet for Defense Force for Governor's Song.