The author wishes to acknowledge CBS/Viacom/Paramount's complete ownship and domination of all things Star Trek, including some of the copyrighted objects mentioned in this story. Please do not sue. Thank you.

Author: Alan Decker
Copyright: 1993

Star Traks

Every Dillon Has His Day

by Alan Decker

“Report, Commander,” Captain Alexander Rydell’s voiced barked over Commander Travis Dillon’s commbadge. Dillon gazed out at the miles and miles of dusty, barren wasteland before him.

“It’s a dirtball, sir,” Dillon replied. “We haven’t seen a sign of anything of interest on the entire planet. It’s a worthless ball of dirt.”

“Sir,” Lieutenant Commander Jaroch interrupted looking up from his tricorder. “Injax does have a remarkably high concentration of silicon in its soil, so it is not entirely worthless.”

“That’s great, Jaroch,” Dillon remarked. “Captain, there’s nothing down here. We’re going to beam up.”

“Fine. Secondprize out.” Dillon walked down the dusty hill towards Jaroch’s position. He shouted in pain as his toe collided with a solid object in the dirt. Dillon leaned down and picked up the offending object. It was a greenish rock about six inches in diameter that sparkled like an emerald. It was completely out of place on Injax’s dusty red surface, but Dillon didn’t even think to question why it was there or what it was.

“Cool rock,” Dillon exclaimed happily. He put his find in the pocket of his field jacket and joined Jaroch at the bottom of the hill. “Dillon to Secondprize,” he said slapping his commbadge. “Beam us up.” Seconds later, Jaroch and Dillon vanished in a spiral of molecules.

Millions of miles away, the homing signal wavered slightly. The power was being moved. No matter, it must be obtained at all costs.

Two weeks later, Commander Dillon had almost completely forgotten about his rock. It was stuffed under his bed along with the remains of some of Dillon’s other fleeting interests: the first three lessons of the Be A Great Detective correspondence course, a set of laser Ginsu knives, and a set of weights that only got pulled out if he had a date and wanted to impress her. They hadn’t been used since they were bought three years earlier and hadn’t been out in two years and nine months, which was the last time Dillon had a date. The rock’s owner was at that moment on the bridge testing out lesson one of his new Psychic Powers Made Easy course.

“You’re thinking about the Three Stooges,” Dillon announced slowly, his eyes mashed shut in concentration.

“Well, I was thinking about an idiot,” Ensign Emily Sullivan replied sarcastically from her position at the helm console.

“Ah ha! I was close!” Dillon exclaimed as he turned to Captain Rydell. “This really works!” He didn’t notice Sullivan put her head in her hands and groan in disgust.

“That’s great, Commander,” Rydell muttered unenthusiastically. “And it was only your five thousandth attempt.” Suddenly, a blaring alarm sounded, and the bridge was bathed in flashing lights. “What’s going on?!?” Rydell shouted as he jumped out of the command chair. “I don’t recognize that alarm.”

“Hold on a second,” Dillon said as he quickly ran through the Starfleet alarm regulations in his mind. He had every regulation memorized. Unfortunately, some of them had gotten a little jumbled from disuse. “There’s either an unknown energy source heading directly at us, or we’re out of Colombian coffee and have to return to spacedock.”

“It’s on screen,” Lieutenant Lisa Beck announced.

“What? The coffee?” Dillon asked. Captain Rydell grabbed his head and turned him around so he could see the screen. “Oh,” Dillon mumbled. A fiery red streak was on a collision course with the ship.

“Evasive maneuvers!” Rydell ordered.

“I do not think that we have time,” Jaroch said. He was right. As soon as the last word left his mouth, the bridge was engulfed in a blinding red glow. It faded to reveal a seven-foot tall, red rock creature. Its face was frozen in one expression: angry.

“Give me the power!” it bellowed deeply. The whole bridge vibrated with its every word.

“You want to field this one, Commander?” Rydell gasped weakly.

“No, sir,” Dillon squeaked in reply.

“GIVE ME THE POWER!!!” The bridge crew was knocked to the floor by the sheer force of his words. Security Chief Patricia Hawkins had had enough. She hurdled her tactical console, diving at the creature with a flying kick. It didn’t even budge as she slammed into it full force. Actually, it didn’t even seem to notice. It was too busy looking at a glow in its palm. Reaching a decision, it walked forward right over Hawkins and into the turbolift.

“Mother…” Hawkins said and then lost consciousness.

“Rydell to all decks,” the captain announced. “There is a dangerous intruder on board. Get out of the hallways now. Rydell out. Jaroch, have you got a track on that thing?”

“It’s on deck five now. Section eight,” Jaroch replied.

“Good, get Hawkins to sickbay while we’re gone. Rydell to transporter room, beam Commander Dillon and myself to deck five, section seven. Energize!”

“Hey! Wait a sec…” Dillon’s protest was interrupted as the transporter took him apart molecule by molecule.

Dillon and Rydell materialized about twenty feet in front of the creature. It walked toward them obliviously staring at its hand. Rydell had selected this position since it was right outside an armory. He and Dillon quickly obtained phasers and marched out into the hall.

“All right, you ugly bastard, stop right there,” Rydell ordered aiming his phaser. The creature didn’t respond except for quickly ramming Rydell’s head into the wall as it walked by. It didn’t look up from its hand the whole time. Suddenly, it dropped to its knees.

Dillon ran over to his fallen captain hoping that some mysterious ailment had stopped the monster. The crashing of its fist into the floor quickly told Dillon that he wasn’t that lucky. The rock creature had punched a hole in the floor to the deck below and jumped down.

“After him,” Rydell ordered groggily.

“If you insist,” Dillon replied as he dragged Rydell to the hole and pushed him in. Rydell hit the creature on top of the head and bounced harmlessly off to the floor. Dillon nervously fired his phaser, hoping against hope that it would do something. He was shaking so badly that he missed completely and put a hole in the floor of the lower deck. The creature looked at his hand again, and then the new hole. Finally, it looked up at Dillon.

“Thank you,” it growled as it jumped down to deck seven.

“Great,” Dillon mumbled. He quickly slapped his commbadge. “Dillon to transporter room, beam me to deck seven, section six.” As the beam took him, he realized that he was beaming right outside of his quarters. That thing had better not go after his priceless collection of Elvis stamps!

He rematerialized ready for battle. Phaser blast after phaser blast hit the creature’s rocky exterior, but it didn’t seem to be doing anything.

“I must have the power!” it shouted as it marched toward Dillon’s door. “I have followed it from deep space to Injax to here, and now I will have it.”

“You want my rock?” Dillon asked realizing what the monster was talking about. “Hold on a second.” He went into his quarters and reemerged moments later with the dust bunny covered rock.

“The power. Now I will rule!”

“Hold on a second, pal,” Dillon ordered putting the rock behind his back. “I get the feeling that you aren’t after this rock with the best of intentions.”

“Quiet, weakling. I will take the power, I will absorb the power, and then I will be unstoppable on my home planet!”

“Oh, it’s just your planet,” Dillon said bringing the rock back around front. “I guess that’s…”

“Do not give it to him, sir!” Jaroch shouted running around the corner, tricorder in hand. “The resulting energy release when he puts the rock into his body will destroy the ship.”


“Are you sure about this, Jaroch?” Dillon asked frightened. “I mean, he’s going to destroy the ship if I don’t give it to him.”

“I am positive.”

“Then you take it,” Dillon said tossing the rock to Jaroch.

“This is your responsibility,” Jaroch replied tossing it back.

“You can have it!” Toss.

“I do not want it.” Toss.

“Take it!” Toss.

“Not a chance.” Toss.

“Please!” Toss.

“No.” Toss. The creature, whose anger had been steadily growing as it watched the power being thrown around, stepped in between Dillon and Jaroch before Dillon could get rid of the rock again.

“Give me the power,” it said forcefully.

“You would follow this thing anywhere, wouldn’t you?” Dillon asked as he backed toward his quarters.

“Without the power, I cannot conquer all.”

“Then come and get it!” Dillon shouted as he turned and ran into his room. The creature charged in after him. Dillon ran to the bathroom and, just as the creature got to the door of the bathroom, dropped the rock into the toilet. The ship’s matter reclamation system quickly broke down the rock into its component molecules just as it would feces or urine. The creature dove after the rock and soon found itself suffering the same fate as the unrelenting toilet kept pulling him in bit by bit, taking him apart section by section.

Soon it was done. Dillon was alone. And the toilet computer sent a note to Dr. Singer to check on Dillon’s diet.

Seconds later, Jaroch walked in followed by a dazed Captain Rydell.

“Most ingenious, sir,” Jaroch said. “You saved the ship.”

“He what?” Rydell stammered.

“I saved the ship,” Dillon stated striking a dramatic pose. His day of glory had finally come. CLUNK. THUNK. SPUTTER. SCREECH. The Secondprize shook to a stop as the power blinked on and off.

“This is the chief engineer,” the angry voice of Commander Scott Baird shouted over the ship’s communications system. “Congratulations to whoever’s been shitting the bricks. You just overloaded the waste reclamation system and fucked up the whole ship!”

“Oops,” Dillon mumbled weakly. SPLUT. CLUNK. The power went out completely.

“You know,” Rydell’s voice said from the darkness. “Maybe we would have been better off if we hadn’t been saved.” THUNK! SPUTTER.

“What?” Dillon asked. “You think that death would be better than this minor problem?”

“I’ll ask you the same question after Commander Baird gets finished with you,” Rydell replied.

“Hey, I saved the ship,” Dillon protested. “Doesn’t somebody have to save me now?”

Laughter was the only response. Maybe this wasn’t his day after all.

Tags: Original