And so paramount said: LET THERE BE TREK. and there was and it was good. and so Alan Decker said LET THERE BE TRAKS. and there was and it was good. Than I said LET THERE BE MORE TRAKS. and here it is and it is good. PS Lucasfilm owns Star Wars. :-)

Author: Ryan Byrne
Copyright: 2002

Star Traks: Starfleet Academy

“LaRue to the Rescue”

by Ryan Byrne

Sony Soundtrack now available



In the early hours of morn, Cadet Jean LaRue sneaked into holodeck 5 in the Academy. His quad was scheduled to have combat training in an hour but he wanted extra time. He placed an isolinear chip at the controls of the room and tapped in some commands. “Computer activate program: LaRue alpha-alpha-tango-waltz-fox trot.” A moment later the computer announced “Simulation ready please enter when ready.”

Jean entered the double doors as they slid open for him. Inside he saw a beautiful lush landscape, the sun was shining and no technology. He smiled, “Computer,” he commanded “create one broadsword.” Before him a large blade materialized, smiling he took it up and swung it around. It made a gratifying ziiiing as it slashed the air. A large group of men wearing ancient armor of medieval knights. He began to attack, swords clanged and he easily defeated them all.

Alik Cashi snuck up beside his sleeping roommate. Although he showed emotions Thib had no sense of humor, which Taki was determined to change. Over his bed Taki placed a bucket of water, ice cold, set to a sound timer, in five minutes when the Vulcan-Betazoids (which I will now call Vulzoid so let it be said so let it be done. anyway back to the story) alarm went off the bucket would disappear causing the ice water to soak Thib. As planned the alarm rang and the water fell and Thib jumped up with a start, angrily he looked at his roommate and stated simply “I fail to see the humor.”

Alik started to laugh hysterically, “You’ve got to lighten up. Now get dressed, we have to be at holodeck 5 in twenty minutes.”

“I will be ready.”

The four cadets stood outside the doors of the holodeck. Jean was late again, “Geez,” Tama announced “Let’s go in without him.” Thib spoke up, “It would be best,” he spotted a disk in the holodeck controls, “Computer who is using holodeck 3?” he asked. “Cadet Jean LaRue.” the computer stated.

“He went in without us?” Alik asked.

“It would seem so.” Thib replied.

“I have a good idea, let’s see what his secret program is.” Taki suggested.

“You can do that?” Tama asked.

“What do you think security is for, I can hack in the Academy’s holo cameras and see what he’s doing.”

“So what are you waiting for?” Tama asked smiling wickedly.

Taki’s fingers danced on a security console nearby, tapping into the academies security programs were easier than he had thought. “There’s the visual.” he said pointing to the console. On the screen Jean had just driven his sword into a dark-cloaked man and opened a door. Inside a beautiful woman began to kiss him. Tama smiled and tapped the controls, on the screen the woman kissing Jean became a large Klingon male kissing Jean. “END PROGRAM!” he screamed.

The holodeck doors opened and he saw the rest of his quad (except Thib) laughing. “Ya’ like that?” Tama asked. “No more jokes. Lets do the test.” Jean said, “Computer activate LaRue Def6.”

“No, Tama Def8.”

“No, Taki Def32.”

The computers chime sounded “Program ready.” “What one?” Jean asked. “Latamki def6832.”

Thib spoke up, “Perhaps we should examine the program.”

“I second the motion.” put in Alik. “Very well.” Jean said and walked through the doors.

The program was extremely messed up, It was Jeans programs’ field but with some mechanical trees. “Tama, Tak! What were you’re programs?” Jean asked. Taki shrugged “Mine was based on a 1970’s movie called “‘Star Wars’.”

Tama looked at both of them oddly, “Mine was an attack scenario with Jem’Hadar, Klingons and Romulans.”

“Oh My!”

“Wrong story Alik, this is Star Traks: Starfleet Academy.” Jean replied, “Anyway, the computer must have combined our programs creating this……this thing. Computer……” he began

“I am sorry but the holodecks vocal command system has been disabled, manual commands required.” The Computer stated flatly.

“What does that mean exactly?” Tama asked.

“Since the Enterprise’s frequent trouble with their holodecks we have put in manual controls, in the center of the holodeck which can shut down the program and open the doors and so forth.” Thib told her.

“So where’s the center of the holodeck?”

“There.” Thib pointed to a castle-shaped base. A bolt of lightning streaked down, Nice touch thought Thib.

jj;osssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjfghrshguhrgjsfghsj;sdkjgskd;fgjfsjkhgjsfhgjfsjg OOPS sorry I fell asleep writing this piece of………oh where was I, ah yes.

A hundred or so troops clad in white armor marched up to the team. One walked forward “What is your business on an imperial planet?”

“Run.” squeaked Jean, the Starfleeters ran from the stormtroopers at top speed. They ducked down behind some rocks as blast bolts seared by their heads. “I’ll draw their fire, you shoot while their occupied.” Jean said. He jumped up and ran. The troops turned their heads to shoot at the diversion, he froze as the blasts came at him. The blasts continuously missed him, “You guys couldn’t hit the broadside of a planet!” he called. He begun to do a little newfie jig.

Wide-beam phaser bolts sprang from the rock outcropping destroying row after row of the white armored troops. Jean stopped in mid-dance, “Don’t quit your day job.” Tama snarled. “Looks like someone is having PM…..” Taki began but Tama cut him off. “Don’t even say it.”

*authors note* yes i know these jokes are corny but in the words of my generation UP YOU……..Oops, I’d better not alienate my readers.

The five cadets began their trek towards the castle. The road that they walked on was paved in steel, It was sunny, they never got cold, never got hungry, :-). As they got closer they noticed that the “castle” was more technologically advanced than a medieval castle, not as advanced as Federation, but advanced none-the-less. The made it up to the door just as the holographic sun was setting. An electric eye popped out of a hatch. “Echuda na longa” it stated. “Open sesame?” asked Jean.

The eye popped back into the hatch. “I don’t think there going to let us in.” a prissy voice exclaimed. The cadets looked at the newcomer, a gold droid stood near the other end of the door. “Who are you?” Tama asked. “Nobody, just a droid.” The gold robot lowered his head and walked away.

“Uh, guys?” Alik spoke up, “I found something.” she pointed to a large red button with the word OPEN, in big letters above it. She pushed it and the door began a slow rise upward causing a racket. “After you.” announced Alik with a slightly smug (or as smug as she got) smile.

They walked in and ran into three large warriors in red armor stood there. “What are you doing here?” he hefted up his force pike, “Lord Dark Snader does not like intruders.” LaRue smirked “Dark Nader? Give me a break.” He lifted his phaser and hit the troops in their chests.

They entered the turbolift. Once again Alik hit a button, this time written above it in big letters it read LORD NADERS CHAMBER. When the lift rose she smiled “I’m 2 for 2.” Before they got too far the door opened again. This time ten large furry beasts with the heads of Jem’Hadar, behind them white armored borg held blasters. One of them spoke in a monotone, “We are the Storg, you will be captured, resistance is futile.”

The cadets raised their weapons and five storg fell. They fired again, but this time the storg adapted and shields blocked their fire. “Wait, I have an idea.” Taki broke the binders on the Jem/beasts and let them go. “The Jookies are loose!” one of the storg cried.

The large beasts tore their way through the storg. Blasters fired and a few Jookies fell, but they were largely successful. One of them growled. A silver droid similar to the one outside the gate spoke up. “Master firstbacca says they owe you their lives, your wish is their command.”

LaRue smiled and handed them blasters, “Hold off any troops that come by.” he told them.

The Starfleeters walked to the nearest lift and went up a level. The exited and a large man in dark armor stood there. “I am Lord Snader, why are you here?” “The controls.” Tama whispered to the others. “Controls? You wish to hand this base to the Rebellion? You must DIE!” Snader ignited his red lightsaber and thrust forward. Jean saw a similar cylinder at his feet and picked it up. He pushed a button and a blue blade lit up, “Sweet!” he exclaimed.

The two beings began to duel, loud clashes rang out as the blades met. Jean slashed his head off. “That guy is nothing compared to my usual fencing partners.”

“Hey, he’s a robot.” Thib stated. A small man jumped out from behind a curtain, “See ya LOSERS!” he shouted and jumped out. The cadets looked around, “Now what?” Alik asked. “This.” Jean ran to the panel and punched a button. The room shimmered and vanished.

THE END NEXT WEEK ON STAR TRAKS-STARFLEET ACADEMY: Boothby quits because of Jean and guess who’s got to get him back. Guest starring: The prophets, Guinan and Q.


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