Show Me The Way To Go Home

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Star Traks: The Original Series
Episode name A Chip Off The Old Corpse
Season The Lost Years
Episode number 3
Writer(s) Alan Decker
Year 2376
Stardate 53304
Chronology
Previous in series A Chip Off The Old Corpse [TRK]
Next in series Doggerel [TRK]
Previous in timeline A Chip Off The Old Corpse [TRK]
Next in timeline The Caped Engineer [VEX]


Commander Scott Baird is missing. Starfleet considers him dead. And considering the situation he's found himself in, Baird wishes Starfleet was right.


Summary

Two weeks ago, while he was bar-hopping on Golhunda Three, Commander Scott Baird disappeared. Starfleet is more than happy to declare Baird dead and assign a new Chief Engineer to the USS Secondprize: Lieutenant Commander Ted Niskey, who is pretty much the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. Not one to accept the loss of a crewman (and under threat of bodily harm from Lieutenant Commander Emily Sullivan, Captain Alexander Rydell takes the Secondprize back to Golhunda Three to continue the search.


Baird, meanwhile, has been kidnapped by Ardek, a Romulan with an almost obsessive interest in androids, particularly Kristen Larkin. Ardek has built another android, Krissy, but it does not work. Ardek wants Baird, who has experience with the original Larkin and what Ardek calls some personal moral flexibility, to make Krissy function. That's not all Ardek has planned, though. While he works, Baird has been imprisoned with five other people, including Rebecca Singer, on a ship where all of their moves are filmed and broadcast on Romulan holovision. The ship is loaded with explosives and on a collision course for Krinokor, the space station housing the Klingon holovision studio where "Days of Honor' is filmed.


Arriving back at Golhunda Three, the Secondprize crew start looking for Baird in bars. This leads to drinking, which leads to a party, which leads to everyone except Nisky, who kindly offered to stay behind and look after the ship, ending up on the planet in a drunken stupor.


Baird is able to fix Krissy, but not in the way Ardek had in mind. He plugs her directly into the ship and takes control. With the help of his fellow "passengers," he is able to get rid of the explosives and draw the attention of the Klingon military. With everyone rescued, Baird returns to Golhunda Three, where he finds the very inebriated crew of the Secondprize.

Featuring


Also Featuring

Ardek

Rebecca Singer

Vinnz

Author's Comments

Links

Show Me The Way To Go Home (text)

The Star Traks: The Original Series web page

The Lost Years web page